May

Craig’s trying to get in better shape, and he has a program that tracks food, calories, etc. According to his program, “active, vigorous sexual activity” burns 26 calories every 25 minutes. (!!!) By comparison, a new report indicates that you burn 1.03 calories sending a tweet. So, how many tweets can you send in 25 minutes?!!

Thank you Mashable for this little tidbit … and, if you want to check it our yourself, you can see your person rates @ the Tweet Calories Performance Test.

  

Oct

What a great site Mashable is! How else would I know all of this … basically useless but VERY interesting info about our contemporary (online) culture!

This morning brought the report that YouTube now has a billion views per day … not just a billion visits to their website, but a billion videos actually WATCHED. A day.

Translation: a lot of people have WAY too much time on their hands!!! Not ME, of course, just … other people. Yeah, that’s it. ‘Cause in the montage of greatest YouTube clips … I hadn’t seen ALL of them!

  

Jul

A truly bizarre and hilarious and sad little thread from Gizmodo today: http://gizmodo.com/5309337/what-is-the-best-technology-to-use-when-you-film-yourself-having-sex. I have to admit, I laughed out loud at the guy who wrote he had a 60 minute flip camera, but never knew what to do with the other 58 minutes of tape…

One of the most, uh, interesting (?) parts was the polls. They asked people if they had ever filmed themselves having sex:

More of a split than I would’ve thought!

They also asked people what their recommendation for recording equipment would be:

Okay, a few things here … first of all, you spycam guys are just creepy … and also felons, just as an FYI. And a webcam?!! Apparently you people are why my kids can’t surf YouTube unsupervised. As to the people who use their cell phone cameras … wow, you must have a WAY better camera in your phone than I do!!!

  

Mar

Yeah, that’d be me! Okay, technically I am in a TIE for first-place, but still … after coming in DEAD LAST in last year’s bracket challenge, this is good. Very good! Of course, it may not last long…I have Gonzaga over UNC in Friday’s game!

Here’s the proof…

  

Mar

Some dude with WAY to much time on his hands spliced together all the swear words from The Sopranos … it’s 27 minutes long!

The Sopranos, Uncensored

Pretty hilarious. Someone should do this with Deadwood…

Thanks Entertainment Weekly for bring this little gem to my attention … nice spring break fun!

  

Jun

So … last night was interesting. Different than I expected, not unpleasant or even weird, just different.

The goal of Harmonic Chant is to connect us to our most primal instincts, and to come to the “universal sacred” through the origins of humanity – they feel like they’ve identified the basic sounds that were present at the creation of the universe, and use those to tap into the spiritual realm.

Perhaps a video clip would be the easiest way to explain …
David Hykes, Harmonic Worlds Chant

Like I said, interesting.

  

Jun

Tonight for dinner was vegetable soup, blackeyed peas, polenta, and mixed greens. There was cornbread with the soup which was quite good. And the polenta had cheese in it (the only protein to be found!), so it was edible. When I get back to the city tomorrow, I think I will be heading STRAIGHT for the closest hot dog stand, I am *so* craving meat!!!

This is my last night here! I’m on my way down to our closing ceremonies. Should be interesting. Here’s the description:
“Contemplative music composer-singer, researcher and pioneering “throat singer” David Hykes will present a special evening event entitled “Harmonic Awareness: Silence, Deep Listening and the Music of the Spheres”. This evening will include a concert of David’s Harmonic Chant, joined by core members of his group, The Harmonic Choir. .. Mr Hykes will share insights from nearly four decades of Harmonic Awareness work, exploring relationships of music, mind, meditation practice and healing dimensions of sound and listening. The evening will conclude with a Harmonic Meeting, an awareness-based sonic group harmonization with MLSRI participants”.

Like I said, should be interesting…

  

Jun

I like tofu. I really do. Cut up into little pieces and included with other things that you know … give it flavor!

It would never occur to me to put a big giant slab of tofu on a plate and call it a meal. Apparently, that makes me very different from the people who cook the food here. For dinner, we had said slabs of tofu with a tiny amount of barbeque sauce on top, kale and turnips, and mixed greens.

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried…

  

Jun

Wonders never cease … today for lunch we had veggie burgers. Given what we’ve been eating, this was cause for rejoicing! If I closed my eyes and meditated very hard, it almost tasted like meet!!!

  

Jun

So, I survived the 36 hours of silence. AND I did 9 of the 10 hours of meditation (for the hour I missed I decided to go for a hike instead, which I think was a good call).

I have to admit I had a little bit of a mini panic attack last night at about 9:00 (the meditation invoking the silence started at 9:30). In retrospect, I don’t know why I was so freaked out – I actually in the end really enjoyed the silence. Now the actual meditation … in the end, I don’t think it’s for me. At least not mindfulness meditation. I’ll get back to that later.

There were aspects of the day that were easier than I thought, and aspects that were harder than I thought. Going in, I was sure I would feel really restricted not being able to communicate with anyone, and that I would go crazy with nothing but my own thoughts to occupy me. I did miss not being able to call my kids, but I knew they were fine and that Craig was taking good care of them. And the lack of communication with others here was really peaceful – in a lot of ways preferable to all the usual babble that goes on at conferences!

In the beginning, it was just like all the other nights here – we have silence every night from evening meditation through morning meditation. The evening meditation was a very cool lovingkindness meditation – my favorite one so far. She gave us a mantra – “Be safe, be happy, be healthy, live with ease” – and we started out wishing that for ourselves (“May I be safe, be happy…etc.), then extending it to a loved one “May he be safe…” and so on), then someone we’ve met here, then everyone here, then the whole planet “May we all be safe”, etc.). I really liked that one – it was a great way to calm down and start feeling much more positive about the “mini retreat”.

In the morning, things definitely felt different. It was pretty trippy eating in a room with 200 people, and not hearing anything other than spoons clinking against plates. Kind of cool, but bizarre. I tried to be more focused and notice more of the “little things”. The main little thing I noted at breakfast is that the oats they serve for breakfast are “steel cut” oats. I spend the meal wondering what it even means to have steel cut oats, if there are other ways to cut oats (and if so, what they might be), and whether something about cutting them with steel makes them taste better. Not very profound.

After breakfast we had some free time – I noted with some disdain that a girl in the bathroom was using her hairdryer (not very SILENT now is it?!!), and that several people in the lounge were checking their email. I felt very superior for a few minutes, since I was doing my utmost to take it all seriously – but then I decided that was not very much in the spirit of meditation, so I let it go.

We spent the morning doing a combination of sitting meditation and walking meditation – during the walking parts I went outside. It was really too hot to be outside, but I felt claustrophobic being inside for too long. The meditation hall is the only part of the building that is air conditioned (I think they do that on purpose), so it wasn’t the heat, just being around all those people with no talking wears on you after a while. I needed my private space. We did a mixture of classic zen meditation (totally silent) and guided meditations of various types. The outside part was my favorite – trying to be more mindful of all my surroundings, more aware of details, etc.

Lunch was difficult, not because of the silence, but because of the food. Asparagus and onion quiche (that was MUCH more asparagus than it was either onion or quiche); focaccia bread, barley and leek salad; mushroom, beet & celery salad; chocolate spelt cake. I meditate for a while being thankful to the universe for the focaccia bread, and wondering why in the hell anyone would put spelt in chocolate.

The afternoon passed similarly to the morning – periods “on the mat” and periods walking. The time seemed to go much more quickly than I anticipated. I skipped out on the afternoon session where the teachers talked to us about the theory behind the meditation techniques (hearing a lecture on theory did not fit with my schema of “day of silence”). Instead, I went hiking outside. I hadn’t been out much since we got here – too hot. But there was a really nice breeze, which made it feel less hot outside than in. I hiked over the railroad tracks and down to the river. West Point is right across the river from here, and you can see the buildings of the campus. I wonder what it would be like trying to get West Point cadets to meditate. On the way back I saw two deer – a buck and a doe. I thought about my dad, and how much he would like to see them (though, honestly, he would like it even more if it were hunting season and he could take them home in a cooler!). They weren’t more than 10 yards away from me. I was as quiet as I could be, but eventually I spooked them. The buck ran before the doe did, which I thought was interesting.

We had a break before dinner. I see one of the Buddhist monks talking on his cell phone, and I only feel the tiniest bit disdainful before I just smile and let it go.

Dinner was even more difficult than lunch: moroccan stew, which included chick peas, carrots, raisins, currants, tomatoes and zucchini (obviously the leftovers from the weekend!), couscous, cooked cabbage, and mixed greens. I kid you not. I meditate on the fact that they are obviously choosing to serve us the crappy leftovers on the silent day since they know we can’t complain. I pick the mushy zucchini out of the stew and think about how hungry I will be for my steel-cut oats by breakfast time.

After dinner was more meditating. I try to pull my thoughts back in from how hungry I am, and focus on good things. I spend a lot of time thinking about how grateful I am that I have a husband I can trust to take care of my kids for 10 days so that I can do this, and all the other things (like scrapbooking retreats) that are possible because of him. Then I get a little sidetracked thinking about showing him my gratitude when I get home and have to refocus.

As I was lying in bed trying to tell myself it was *not* too hot to sleep (or even breathe), I tried to focus on why this was all not clicking for me. I wished our friend Tony was here so I could talk to him about it (though I would’ve had to wait until morning anyway). But, that is kind of a long story in and of itself, and this post is too long already, and not over yet.

After the morning meditation this morning, the silence officially ended. I found I wasn’t quite prepared to deal with the chaos of the dining room – way too loud after so long in silence. So I went outside for a walk around the grounds until it was late enough to call Craig and the kids. So good to hear their voices! Eli was very funny, when I had explained the silence to him on Sunday, he just said “WHAT?!!” – it was just totally beyond his comprehension how anyone could be quiet all day long (if you know Eli, you can easily see why this would be … the boy never shuts up!). So he was amazed that I had, in fact, not talked for two whole nights and one whole day. Samara seemed to get it, but was glad it was over. Craig was awesome as always – so supportive and reassuring!

Now I am using our post-breakfast break to write this, while it’s all still fresh in my mind. Bottom line – I liked the peacefulness of the silence, but I don’t think I will be continuing to practice mindfulness once I am home. We’ll see…

  

Jun

Okay, it’s down to the wire – less than an hour to go until silence. Silence for 36 hours, to be specific. Here’s our instructions for the day:

“This mini-retreat will include guided meditation appropriate for both those new to meditation practice as well as more seasoned practitioners and will include periods of sitting and walking meditation. It will provide an opportunity to practice “phenomenology on the cushion” and to observe and learn from first person experience of the fine-grained texture and moment-to-moment character of emotion-attention dynamics. ”

Hope it works! Send focusing vibes my way!!! Here’s hoping I don’t just bust out laughing in the middle of one of the group meditation sessions – that would be very, very bad. Wow, I wish that hadn’t popped into my head as a possibility, now I’m going to have to focus on pushing all laughing thoughts out of my head. I am just glad my friend Angie is not here – we would get thrown out of this place for sure!

By the way, here is a movie Craig and the kids sent me to help ease me into the silence. It is so sweet!!!
sunday_msg

I miss them a lot – I realized I have never been away from either the kids or Craig for this long before.

You know what I really need to finish preparing for this silence … a drink. Ha!

  

Jun

MUCH better than yesterday!

Started out rough, though … decided to try the yoga mats instead of a chair for morning meditation. They have these little round pillows that you sit on, on top of a bigger rectangle mat. Most people sit like this:

I also tried sitting like this. Initially, all was well. For the beginning of the meditation, we were supposed to feel our pulse in our wrist, and concentrate on that – was it “thready” or “bounding”, regular or irregular, etc. Aside from the fact that I thought my pulse was somewhere between thready and bounding, all was well. But after a few minutes (as my butt was falling asleep), I realized that other people were sitting really far forward on these pillows. But, since we’re supposed to be being still and concentrating on our pulse, I couldn’t really move. As we transitioned from concentrating on our pulse to concentrating on our breath, I was profoundly distracted by the needle sensation in my butt, and how my neck was getting a kink in it. Obviously, I still have a lot to learn about meditation!

After that, things improved, though. Breakfast was the same as yesterday, except today the croissants at breakfast were CHOCOLATE!!! The talks this morning and this afternoon were really interesting, and much more relevant to what I do. I got some good ideas for studies I might pursue when I get back. Lunch was a bit of a downer – mozzarella & olive (yuck!) sandwiches and salad. But, they had pecan bars for dessert which were delicious. I had 3! Perhaps now I am on a sugar high!

We have a break now until dinner – was going to go swimming in the river with some other people here, but then it started raining. Oh, well, hopefully the storm will provide some relief from this heat & humidity, though.

Am feeling pretty nervous about tomorrow – our silent “mini-retreat”. Starting with evening meditation tonight (starts at 9:30), we have to be silent all night, ALL day tomorrow, and all night tomorrow night, through morning meditation on Tuesday morning. So from 9:30 tonight until 8:00am Tuesday, I am not supposed to say a word. Also, no email, no text messaging, none of that. (And that includes this blog, so you will have to check back on Tuesday for an update). We have ***TEN HOURS*** of meditation scheduled during that time. Keep in mind that I can’t keep my mind from wandering in the half hour sessions we’ve been doing so far, so I am *seriously* worried about where my mind will be after 10 hours.

Send good vibes my way, I will ***REALLY*** need them!!!

  

Jun

Okay, the rest of the day … not so great. The talks in the morning were very dense, hard to follow (or maybe I was just tired). So much so that after lunch (mac & cheese and BROWNIES), I took a nap and blew off the afternoon talks. Dinner was curried lentils, couscous and salad – tolerable, but nothing to rave about. Tonight there was a movie about the life of the guy who started this place – which I also blew off. So far, none of this is related to the work I am doing, or will be doing, plus I am missing Craig and the kids, and really questioning why I came. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better!

Did I mention there’s no air conditioning here? It was 95° today. And *very* humid. It feels like Nashville! Wouldn’t you know I would come up north on the week they have unseasonably hot weather. It’s supposed to be even hotter the next few days, with no break in the temperature until the day we leave. Naturally.

I think I my be grumpy from the lack of caffeine, too – something I forgot on my original list of prohibitions, no Dr. Pepper. They have tea, coffee and water here. That’s it. They had iced mint tea at lunch, but I don’t think it had any caffeine in it. And it’s way too hot for me to drink hot tea.

Okay, off to evening meditation…wish me luck!

  

Jun

Mercifully, my roommate is very nice and friendly. And also, skeptical of all of this like I am! We are getting along well, sitting together at talks and meals, etc. She is from UNC-Charlotte, and knows some of the people in my department.

First thing on the agenda last night … dinner. This consisted of potato/carrot curry that had some bits of tofu in it, rice noodles, zucchini, salad, rolls, and watermelon. Tasted good, but … I like protein. Also, dessert??? There was no mention of no sugar on the list of prohibitions!!!

After dinner, we went to the meditation hall for our opening sessions. The meditation hall is beautiful:
We had a brief overview on Buddhism in general – interestingly, like Judaism, there are a lot of different perspectives and competing ideologies under the overall rubric “Buddhism”, I never really knew that before. We also had our first meditation session. I have done some meditation sessions before – not a lot, but some. Usually they have been mantra-type meditations, where you repeat a word or phrase over and over again. This session focused on breathing, which it sounds like most mindfulness meditation is centered on. That was weird – being aware of our breathing, concentrating on it going in and out, etc. For the first 5 or 10 minutes, it was very relaxing, but then my mind started wandering. During this kind of meditation, when your mind wanders you’re just supposed to notice that it’s wandering and, non-judgmentally bring it back onto the breath. Yeah … that really didn’t work for me. Hopefully I will get better at this!

This morning I (remarkably, I think) made it to morning meditation at 7am. I did not make it to 6am yoga – there are limits! Morning meditation centered on breathing again, but was largely silent, not as much vocal guidance from the teacher as last night. Also this morning, I discovered I like oats – when drenched in brown sugar and maple syrup! %-) I was so desperate for sugar, any vehicle for it would suffice! I also scarfed down a hard-boiled egg and some peanut butter on a croissant, so I would have some protein.

That’s it so far – now off to a day of talks. Stay tuned for more adventures from the monastery!

  

Jun

Arrived in NYC yesterday afternoon, and headed straight up to Poughkeepsie to visit with a couple of our friends/colleagues at Vassar who we’re working on a grant proposal with. Had a really great time, AND got lots of work done on the grant.

Left Poughkeepsie at 3:30 this afternoon, arrived here a little after for. Garrison is teeny-tiny – not even a train station here, just a platform with two tracks. The shuttle from the Garrison Institute came right away to pick me up. The building and grounds here are gorgeous. The rooms, however, are not. Here is mine:

I think there are prison cells bigger than this. Truly.

My roommate is already here, but haven’t met her yet. One good thing – there is an awesome jacuzzi in the bathroom on my floor. Also, I can access the internet from my room – in the materials they sent, it said we would only be able to get online in the lounges. So, worse comes to worse, maybe I can hide in here and get some work done. Unless of course I hate my roommate…

Send positive vibes my way, I will need them!!!

  

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