Aug

OK, It’s been a while since I have written one of these — but this is probably a good time to do another. Who know’s how long it’s going to take, but our little boy is *definitely* on the way! As Leslie has written, the signs of her early labor were so convincing last night that we made a trip to the hospital that didn’t get us our baby.

I know that Leslie is frustrated with the slow progress, and worried about the possibilities of how things might go — but I have a good feeling about this. I think our boy will be here within the next couple of days, and I am reasonably optimistic that she will be able to do it “her way” — no C-section. Whether or not an epidural will be involved is more up for grabs, I think. (We differ on this — I hear from Carolyn [Sami's wonderful Nanny] about how badly Leslie wants to do it all natural [something she hasn't *really* emphasized to me]– and I support that — but on the other hand, I was impressed last time about how focused and effective the epidural was with Sami — it wasn’t anything like the evils that the anti-physician nurses who teach the Lamaze classes describe — with a good anasthesiologist one can be quite focused as to where the sensation is knocked out, and the drugs can be titrated in indefinitely. If it were me, I would go for it once the pain got intense — but I guess I’m just a wimpy boy! %-)

In any event, things are happening. Lots of contractions — so far, with little effect — but I learned last night that this might run in the family — with Dayna, Leslie’s mom had a very extended pre-hospital labor. As Leslie’s Dr. said today, there is no predicting when it will happen, but with the regular contractions that Leslie is having, things *will* kick into high gear sometime in the next few days, and then … well, we’ll just hope that little boy Kirith isn’t the 9-lb monster that Sami was, and that he just slides on through that birth canal (as my Doctoral advisor Phoebe Ellsworth said, shortly after giving birth to her second child, “like a cannon ball”).

So we wait … As I see it, the “disappointment” of last night is actually a blessing. First we got to test our support systems — and they all worked great! We have many wonderful people standing at the ready to help us through this with whatever they might be called upon to do. Second, as we were running out the door last night, it was clear that we really weren’t prepared for “the boy” (I keep wanting to type his name — but that would be revealing the secret too soon!) to arrive just then. Now we have some time to prepare, mentally and in other ways, but as we do this we can get truly psyched that it is about to happen. Of course, this is all easy for me to say — since I don’t have to deal with the contractions, the back pain, or with the pain associated with the little guy bearing down on her pelvis almost constantly!

OK, I’m rambling so I will go do other things — more later — most likely after “the boy” has appeared, and I am trying to comfort him to sleep in the wee hours!

  

Aug

So, last night the contractions intensified, and got to the point where they were about 4 minutes apart. We called the doctor on call, and he said head to the hospital. After a few minutes of panic, thinking we weren’t ready, we pulled ourselves together and started preparing. Kim came over to stay with Sami, who was asleep, but very restlessly – she knew something was up! I hadn’t packed, so I rushed to do that while Craig sent off a few last-minute emails. Finally, about 9:30 pm, we arrived at the hospital, starting to feel very excited and…

nothing. No, really, NOTHING. I was *still* 50% effaced and *maybe* a fingetrip dilated. This, after having pretty intense contractions for 5 hours. They had me walk the halls for an hour, then re-checked me – you guessed it, still no progress. I was ***SO*** frustrated! The nurse said she could tell the contractions were more intense, and she could feel the baby bearing down really hard, but my cervix just wasn’t responding.

So, they sent us home. The nurse kind of half-expected we’d be back last night, and she said it was very doubtful that the labor would drag on like this for days. And she was very clear that I *was* in labor, this wasn’t Braxton-Hicks contractions, or false labor. It’s just that I was in the very early stages, and not progressing very fast.

Just my luck! They gave me somthing to sleep through the night last night, thinking I would need to conserve my energy for the labor. But, naturally, today things have been stalled. I’m still having the contractions fairly regularly, but they’re very mild for the most part. Every 4th or 5th one kind of takes my breath away, but otherwise nothing notable. I had a doctor’s appointment this afternoon – same old, same old (50% effaced, no dilation to speak of).

It’s funny, last night I was *very* stressed when they told me to go into the hospital, and I kept telling Craig we weren’t ready, we weren’t ready. So, on the one hand I am glad to have another day or two to get my house in order, literally and figuratively. But, on the other hand, it is hard being in the “early stages of labor” interminably – it’s taking a toll on my physically and mentally. I’m really ready to just get it over with already! All I can say at this point is, they’d *better* be right that it can’t drag on like this for too long! %-)

  

Aug

Things are “ahappnin’”, as they say here in the South…around 4:00 this morning, I started having reasonably strong contractions (enough to keep me awake, not enough to take my breath away) every 4-5 minutes. That lasted for about 4 hours, but then once I got up and started moving around, they stopped. I’ve been having sporadic contractions all day, but nothing regular. Then, about two hours ago, I started having a *REALLY* strong pressure sensation in my pelvic area, like the baby was trying to push his way out already. It’s pretty constant pressure, too. Around the same time, I also starting having pretty regular back spasms, which could or could not indicate back labor.

I called Craig and he said call the doctor – it’s funny that we’re so clueless on a second baby, but since Sami was induced, I’m not sure what’s really involved in going into labor on my own. All the doctors except the one on call had already gone for the day, and the one on call was in surgery, so I couldn’t go see anybody. The nurse said she would tell the doctor my symptoms, and if he felt like it was an emergency he would call back and tell me to come in. Otherwise, I was supposed to go home and put my feet up and drink a lot of water and see if things developed further. (I was in the lab running subjects when all this started happening…and I’m still here! I know, I know, but I *really* need to get as much data collected as possible… %-).

Now I’m having contractions again, about every 5 minutes, a little stronger than the ones this morning, but still not really painful. I’m starting to feel a little excited, but nervous, too – the due date is still 9 days away! Somehow I just didn’t expect him to come this early…and he probably won’t! Anyway, we just thought we’d keep anyone “listening” posted on what’s happening. More soon…

  

Aug

Now we are back in familiar territory – yesterday at the doctor’s office, I had made “no progress” since last week. This is what I heard *every time* with Sami, so I am pretty used to it. Actually, I told Craig that I had been worried that when we went yesterday they would tell us they had made a mistake last week and I hadn’t even started effacing yet! At least that didn’t happen. %-) So, as it stands now, I am 50% effaced, and “maybe a fingetrip” dilated (translation: not really dilating at all yet). We’ll keep you posted if things change…

In other news, this is basically the week from hell, with Craig and me basically going full-out trying to get things done before the baby comes. It’s one of those times where we keep thinking “what else can go wrong”, and then of course something does. We’re doing our best to keep our spirits up and not take it out on each other, but we’re essentially bone tired and pretty grumpy, since many of our current difficulties have to do with other people not doing what they’re supposed to be doing. Ah, well, such is life…

  

Aug

As of today, I am officially liberated of my responsibilities to the University of Alabama at Birmingham. Not that I actually had many responsibilities there to begin with, but…still, now my fellowship is over, and so is my association with them. I have to say, I cannot in good faith recommend the university, or at least the Psychology Department, to anyone. They are a greedy, unfriendly lot of really selfish people, in my humble opinion.

But, I am not sorry I went there – I liked my supervisor very much, and the fellowship gave me a lot of flexibility to figure out where I wanted to go next. Also, it allowed Craig and me to live together – my other post-doc possibilities would’ve involved us living apart for 2-3 years, seeing each other *maybe* once a month. I’m not sure we would’ve even survived that, but even if we had, I wouldn’t have a precious baby girl and a boy on the way right now.

So, in the end, I am grateful for the opportunitites that were afforded to me by having the fellowship from the National Institutes of Health. I didn’t get as much out of it as I might have, due to going to UAB, but it was still, in the end, a positive experience. Now, onward…