Jun

I’m about to lose my &^&*#%*^&%^#@*@ mind!!! I love my baby, don’t get me wrong. But I have been with her practically 24/7 for the last three weeks, and that is a bit much.

The first week, Sami and I went by ourselves to visit my parents, and she wasn’t any problem at all (once we were there – she didn’t enjoy the car ride *at all*). She really enjoyed being with her Grandma, Popeye, and Aunt Dayna (who she calls “Nay-Na”). And Sami *really* enjoyed meeting Sebo, the boxer “puppy” (who is about 60 pounds and taller than Sami already). He loves to play, and so does she, so they got along beautifully. She got scared of him a few times when he would get very excited and bark loudly or knock her over, but for the most part she couldn’t get enough of “Bobo”. Craig came up for the weekend, and he and my dad had a nice Father’s Day celebration on Sunday before we came back home. We left after Sami had her dinner, so she mercifully slept most of the way home.

The next week, Sami did go to Caroline’s on Monday and Tuesday, but then Caroline and her family went for a trip to New York for a week, and then moved into a new house. We were supposed to go visit Terra for much of the third week, but they ended up having to go out of town themselves, so we had to cancel that. So, we had Sami to ourselves. Actually, Sami herself is not so much of a problem, really the problem stems from *other people* in the house.

Suffice it to say that Craig and I both feel like we’ve borne the brunt of entertaining Sami while she’s been home. Who knows, maybe we’re both right – Sami does seem to think that since we’re both home, we should both pay attention to her continually. But, from my perspective, here is how a day goes: Sami wakes up between 7:00 and 8:00 every morning (yes, I know, we’re very lucky that she’s such a good sleeper). Craig gets up with her and feeds her breakfast, and quasi-entertains her (in other words, he turns a movie on for her and then goes to do his email) until either I decide to get up, or Sami decides that I should. Then, I am pretty much responsible for her until lunch, and if I can take her somewhere out of the house, that’s all the better. If I ask permission, I can take a shower sometime during the morning. In that case, Craig “watches” her, which means he turns her movie back on and goes back to his work, and she ignores the movie and stands at the bathroom door crying (which I can hear) the whole time I’m in the shower. Craig feeds her lunch, then she takes a nap. She sleeps for two hours (almost exactly), and during that time I can either get a few things done, or nap if I’m exhausted (which I am more and more these days – the second trimester burst of energy has worn off, and now we’re into third trimester sluggishness). When she wakes up, I am basically responsible for entertaining her until it’s time for dinner, unless it is a grocery day and then Craig takes her with him to the grocery store and I get about an hour break. After dinner I play with her until she takes her bath. Craig gives her the bath, and I have 10 minutes or so then to send an email or do some laundry or whatnot, but I have to remember to check that her pajamas are in their special place under he changing table before I go off to do anything else. Otherwise, if I’ve forgotten and left them hanging in the laundry room, or stacked on the chair in her room without putting them in the special place, I have to drop what I’m doing and go hand them to Craig when he’s ready to put them on her – I mean, God forbid he actually pick out a pair himself!!! After bath time, I play with her again until it’s time for night-night. Oh, and by the way, if I lose my patience with Sami at any point during the day (which I try very hard not to do, but sometimes I just get frustrated…), I get in trouble, because she’s just a baby. When he *yells* at her, incidentally, it is always perfectly justified.

Oh, and then there’s Aaron. He was with us most of the third week. His idea of being at our house is that he does whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Craig feels bad for him because his mother is so verly restrictive (to put it mildly), so he wants him to learn to regulate himself. In theory, I agree with this. The problem is, Aaron does *not* regulate himself. Rather, he takes advantage of the fact that he knows Craig isn’t ever going to discipline him, and does whatever, whenever. the first thing this means is that he takes over the family room when he’s here – he feels like he’s entitled to watch as much TV as he wants, (which means, *literally* that the TV is on every single moment from the time he wakes up until the time he goes to bed), and to eat as much as he wants of whatever he wants. Usually this means a steady diet of sugar and cheese (eaten in front of the TV, naturally, rather than at the table), which is a real problem with Sami, because she doesn’t understand why she can’t eat that. He also expects Craig to wait on him hand and foot. Oh, and not only does the TV have to be on, it has to be blairing loud enough that it can be heard quite clearly from any room in the house. One can ask him to turn the TV down, which he will – until you turn your back, then it goes right back up. One day I counted, and I asked him *seven* separate times to turn the TV down before finally giving up. God forbid he watch TV in his own room – that’s no what he wants, after all! In fact, if we want to watch TV, we have to give him fair notice so he can either finish his PlayStation game or finish the show that he’s watching – it really wouldn’t be right to inconvenience him in any way, after all (I hope you can read the sarcasm! %-). If I get sick of his selfish behavior and take one of his priviledges away, then Aaron thinks I’m a bitch, and Craig thinks I am being overly hard on him. *Then* there is the way he treats Sami – if he wants to play with her, Aaron is really great with her, and she loves him. But, he will very suddenly decide that he is bored with her and doesn’t want to play anymore. In that case, she is supposed to instantly go away and leave him alone. Of course, seeing how she’s only 16 months old, she doesn’t understand this very well. If she keeps “bothering” him, he either shoves her down (literally), or picks her up by the arms and half-carries, half-drags her to another room and then closes her in there. At least once a day, he has done something to hurt Sami, and Craig has seen most of them. His response is “Aaron, don’t do that again”. Very effective. If I dare suggest that simply telling him over and over to stop, without there being any consequences to his behavior, then Craig gets very defensive and we end up having a big fight, and nothing changes anyway. Frankly, it’s just not worth it.

*Then* there’s the heat. It’s well over 90 degrees every day now, and incredibly humid. When you go outside, it truly feels like you’re in a sauna. So, we go out as little as possible. But even inside, for some reason, the air conditioner in our house can’t manage to keep the temperature less than 78 inside, which to me is hot. This just contributes to the overall tense/grumpy atmosphere.

Oh, and lest I forget – problems at work. The fellowship that I had for the last three years is ending, and I’m actually glad even though there was a lot of flexibility there. My supervisor and I just have very different work styles, and I am very ready to be on my own and not working “for” anyone, however loosely – that’s one of the perks of years and years of school, once you have your Ph.D. and get a professorship, you are mostly autonomous, without really having a “boss”. Another good thing about the fellowship ending – no more trips down to Birmingham! I had a position all lined up at Vanderbilt, but then we got some grants and they decided to upgrade my position. This is good news, except that we just found out they can’t get all the paperwork filed until the semester starts. It seems like it will all be fine in the end, it’s just one more hassle to deal with at a time when I am feeling continually hassled. Oh, and I won’t get my raise until the paperwork is all done…

Okay, I guess I’m out of things to complain about for now. In summation – the last two weeks have sucked, and I am *very* glad that Aaron has gone home and that Sami will be going to Caroline’s tomorrow. Now if I could just get rid of Craig for a while…%-)